Nothing fazes the residents of the Big Apple, and as a guy whose hometown is the Bronx, I should know. Take for example the man who has been nicknamed the “Dildo Terrorist” who tried to harass subway riders on the 2 train last weekend.
According to ANIMAL New York:
An older man of indeterminate ethnic origin boarded the train at Atlantic Avenue; the man seemed “fucked up on some kind of drug,” loose-limbed and sloppy. Some young men sitting next to him began making fun of him. One of the dudes took out his phone to snap a selfie with the older guy. At that point, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a massive dildo.
The article goes on to state:
The man then started waving the big black dong around, pointing it at people and pretending to jerk it off. The man also kept standing up and clenching his butt cheeks.
Sounds like another day on NYC’s subway system if you ask me. The woman sitting next to the Dildo Terrorist in the photo above could care less about what’s going on. She’s not even attempting to take a picture of the massive schlong to post on her Instagram account. Yep, aside from a few giggles from some onlookers, there’s nothing to see here.
The more entertaining aspect of ANIMAL New York’s story comes from the expert opinions that accompany it.
A sex toy industry insider, who wished to remain anonymous, was consulted for the write-up and estimated that the dildo’s size “was between 14-16” long.” However, he or she “wasn’t able to identify the make and model of the dildo.”
With regards to the unfazed woman who was seated next to the dildo-meister, self-defense expert and retired New York State police officer Steve Kardian had this to say:
…the woman’s lack of response is an example of the best course of action to take when someone is sticking a dildo in one’s face. “I would encourage people to have little to no reaction, because that’s the first thing he’s seeking to do,” Kardian told ANIMAL. “If he doesn’t get any input from his actions, he’s likely to walk away.”
If a reaction is necessary, Kardian said, actions to take would be to “put your hands up over your face and yell as loudly as you can, ‘back off!’ or ‘I don’t want any trouble.’”
Those of you who are resistant to a partner’s desire to incorporate sex toys into your love life might want to keep this advice in the back of your mind as well.
ANIMAL New York is feverishly trying to track down this Dildo Terrorist and is asking for information to be emailed to tips@animalnewyork.com. If any of our readers have intel regarding the dildo, feel free to contact us via Twitter or Facebook.
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