September 19, 1934– Brian Epstein. Hey, You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away.
John Lennon:
“I was on holiday with Brian Epstein in Spain, where the rumors went around that he & I were having a love affair. Well, it was almost a love affair, but not quite. It was never consummated. But it was a pretty intense relationship. It was my first experience with a homosexual that I was conscious was homosexual. He had admitted it to me. We had this holiday together because Cynthia was pregnant, & I went to Spain & there were lots of funny stories. We used to sit in a cafe in Torremolinos looking at all the boys & I’d say, ‘Do you like that one, do you like this one?’ I was rather enjoying the experience, thinking like a writer all the time: I am experiencing this, you know. Eppy just kept on & on at me, until one night, I finally just pulled me trousers down & said to him: ‘Oh, for Christ’s sake, Brian, here, just stick it up me fucking arse then.’”
“He said to me, ‘Actually, John, I don’t do that kind of thing. That’s not what I like to do.’ “Well,” I said, ‘what is it you like to do?’ & he said, ‘I’d really just like to touch you, John.’ & so I let him toss me off, & that was it… Yeah, so fucking what! He’s having a fucking hard time anyway. So what harm did it do, for fuck’s sake? No harm at all. The poor fucking bastard, he can’t help the way he is.”
This Spanish holiday was dramatized in the excellent film The Hours & Times (1991), with David Angus as Epstein & Ian Hart as Lennon.
Epstein certainly led an interesting life. Born during the Depression, at 16 years old he started working in his parent’s Liverpool department store & realized he was born to be a salesman. His father promoted him to manager of the record department as the family business expanded.
In December 1961, Epstein started at his most important job: Manager Of The Beatles. After having seen the band play at a Liverpool club in their leather jackets, smoking cigarettes & swearing on stage, he immediately decided the lads needed to change their image.
Reimagining The Beatles’ look & stage personalities, Epstein purchased mod mohair suits for the boys, insisted on their signature haircuts & started to find them new gigs. He fired the drummer, Pete Best, so that he could be replaced by Richie Starkey. He pitched The Beatles to the various record labels, determined to get them signed to a recording contract. After being rejected by Decca, among other labels, he managed to get them signed with EMI & with George Martin as their producer.
Initially, The Beatles weren’t completely confident or trustful of Epstein (they called him- “Eppie”), but with his hard work & devotion he earned their respect & admiration.
It was no secret that Epstein was gay. In school he recalled being “ragged, nagged & bullied”. He dropped out when he turned 16 years old. He was drafted into the British Army, but after 10 months he was discharged for being “mentally unfit”, after being harassed & bullied again. Around this time, Epstein began enjoying the special company of other guys. In 1956 he was arrested for propositioning men in a subway lavatory, the victim of an undercover sting. Epstein pleaded guilty, & was fined & released.
The Beatles always knew that Epstein was gay. Although he was professional & distinguished as a business man, his double life wasn’t always as private as he wanted it to be. There were relentless rumors that Epstein was in love with Lennon. Epstein was very attracted Lennon’s talent, his wit & his good-looks. He was not able to look Lennon in the eye when speaking with him for fear he would reveal his secret. But actually, Lennon was completely aware of Epstein’s feelings & was sometimes teased by his mates about Epstein’s subtle attentions. The gossip began.
Epstein also managed Gerry & The Pacemakers & the late, great Cilla Black. He appeared on TV shows & hosted a regular spot on one of my favorite shows of the 1960s era Hullabaloo.
As Beatlemania reached a fever, Epstein became less involved in the routine daily operations. The Beatles Empire continued growing, but Epstein felt less secure about his future with the band. His contract was due to expire & he feared it would not be renewed (he would remain their manager until his death). He began a downward spiral, becoming depressed & driven by drug addiction. He was drinking, gambling, taking LSD, & popping pills. Epstein’s life became more than he could handle.
When The Beatles went to India to meet the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi in August 1967, it was the first time they had gone anywhere without Epstein being in charge. He had seemed interested in what Maharishi had to offer, but it was a bank holiday weekend & he decided to spend it with friends. For The Beatles, the trip was like being kids allowed to play without supervision. Lennon:
“It was like going somewhere without your trousers on!”
In India, Paul, John, George & Ringo received word that Epstein had died, disillusioned & alone, from a drug overdose. He was just 32 years old. All 4 Beatles were completely, utterly devastated. He had been their friend, their enabler, their hero. He was seen as irreplaceable. Shortly after Epstein’s passing, The Beatles underlying tensions & resentments began to surface. Lennon said it was the beginning of the end. Lennon:
“He was in love with me. It’s interesting & will make a nice Hollywood Babylon story someday about Brian Epstein’s sex life, but it’s irrelevant, absolutely irrelevant.”
Double Life/Double Fantasy, the secret was not buried with Brian Epstein.
Benedict Cumberbatch is set to portray Epstein in a new biopic, directed by his Sherlock director, Paul McGuigan, & produced by Tom Hanks.
If things had been different & he had been able to be here today, probably having just barely survived the murder of Lennon in 1980, a wealthy & happily openly gay Sir Brian Epstein might be celebrating his 81st birthday with a nice quiet dinner & cake at his home in San Francisco along with his longtime husband (a Lennon lookalike), Sean & Yoko, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr & their children & grandchildren.
A few of my favorite resources:
The Love You Make: An Insider’s Story Of The Beatles (1983) by Peter Brown
The Brian Epstein Story (2000) by Debbie Geller
Many Years From Now (1997) by Barry Miles
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